I have seen this question so many times- Can someone be holy, loving, caring and romantic at the same time? People ask this question for different reasons. Some ask it because they think holiness and romance don’t go together, other ask the question because they think love and romance don’t go together and so many other reasons like that.
Let me quickly put it to you that holiness will give you the true life of love, which will make you a caring person and hence show you what you need to know about romance. People who have used romance in the bad way are people who never cared.
Looking at the definition of all visible terms- Holiness is God’s expectation of us. The Scriptures days that we are commanded to be holy as God in Heaven is holy. Therefore we need Salvation and the process of being Born Again. Love is the affection you show to people, here we are considering the ‘philia’ type of love which is the type you show to your life partner. This type of love can only be born out of holiness, when you receive the Agape love from God.
1 Corinthians 13 tells us that you cannot caim to be a ‘Christian’ if you do not have love. It means the love we are examining flows as a virtue, for the fact that you are holy. So when a man and a woman tells each other the ‘I love you’ sentence, don’t think they are carnal. It is an expression of what God has planted in them at Salvation & at the time of their divine meeting, which is to be true with love. Although there are people who make the ‘I love you’ sentence claiming it’s just a statement and then using it for deceit, such people can not be holy people in that holiness does not deceive.
And because there is a love born out of holiness, there certainly will be care. The man and woman will care for each other. They will be ready to have each other’s backs. The thing is when you begin to show care to your partner, romance has begun. When you show care to any other person, it remains care- it’s a fact.
Romance is a way of showing your partner that you love them. When your partner receives romance, they feel that you love them. No matter how much you claim to love your partner, if you do not express it, your partner won’t believe you. Romance is a way of proving to your partner that you love them.
But because your love is coming from God, you will understand how to do romance. Believe me, there are rules guiding romance and the ultimate one is this- “do not show love in a way that will Rob you of your holiness.” And sincerely this rule is more binding at the time of courtship.
While sex is a way of showing love, it is not applicable at the time of courtship. Same applies to sexting, buying of undies for partners etc. During courtship there are different ways to be romantic. You can buy your partner cookies; flowers; books, you can write them love letters; give them cards; hold their hands; hug them; take them out for dinner; pray for them; sing for them and so on- all this do not stop you from being holy.
You can be romantic and still be holy. God wants a romantic life for you. All you have to do is ensure that your romantic life- the way you show love to your partner does not compromise your life of holiness. Glory!